Facebook Home: Turning Your Android Into Some Living Thing

Earlier this month Facebook introduced Home.

According to them, it’s a “whole new experience for your phone.”

Now why would a phone need a whole new experience? What was its past experience? Is it some kind of living orgasm? Sorry I meant organism.

I mean, when I saw the update I couldn’t imagine what they were talking about to be honest.

Well, after looking through it, I got it. The smartphone is man’s new best friend. Sorry Lassie.

sad puppy is sad

(Yes I know that’s not Lassie but I couldn’t find a picture of him looking sad.)

We go to bed and wake up next to our phones. We bring them everywhere. We freak out when our battery is low. And don’t pretend that you’re not on Twitter during your intimate toilet moments.

In fact, they’re better than dogs. Because they don’t poop or bark or get emo when you’re not around.

So yeah. I guess, it sorta, kinda makes sense to want to give our beloved phones a new experience.


Facebook’s Home is basically software designed specifically for Android phones. It’s a combination of apps that once installed through the Play Store will showcase FB all over the place.

For example, the lock screen and home screen on your phone will be random posts from your Facebook newsfeed.

Facebook showcased it like this:

Facebook Home


Which is fine if you are lucky enough to land on a friend’s post that looks as nice as this random guy on a kayak.

Alternatively you could wake up to your phone alarm and the first thing you see could be a picture of your colleague’s dinner last night. And if you scroll to the next page you could be staring at random cat picture that your friend thinks is HIGH-LARIOUS! Or perhaps it’s a four-picture collage of the same guy taking selfies in different angles from a bathroom mirror. Or how about an ad or promo about a diet shake with before and after pictures of an obese to skinny chick that your third cousin twice removed has posted and tagged 50 million people to.


I actually love Facebook. I use it all the time. I think it’s a great social network. And an even better marketing tool.

Not sure about Home though.

I mean based on the video that Facebook released, it looks pretty amazing. But then that’s because it’s full of beautiful people looking at beautiful posts from other beautiful people.

Maybe I just need more beautiful Facebook friends that I wouldn’t mind seeing in full HD across my entire screen.

All notifications will appear on your screen. Preference is made to anything Facebook related. That includes Candy Crush requests I assume.

I like checking out Facebook when I want to check out Facebook. I like knowing that I can quickly scroll past stupid posts and not having them on my screen for longer than needed.

Not sold on the idea of my phone being turned “into a great, living, social phone.”

What does that even mean..?

Download it in the Play Store for your Android and lemme know what you think.

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