I have a new phone! The Google Android! Check it out! What do you think?

Its black. I like. It has color. I like. Its too complicated. I like that too.

This is just wrong. Guess nothing can be totally pork free then eh.

I have done reviews on the Guitar Hero ads and I personally love them cos its just basically a cool song. But now, there is a clear winner and I present their best ad EVER! Heidi Klum in her bare essentials doing the… ahhh, just watch the damn video!

Only downside is that I can't see them ever beating this. Unless they get Eva Longoria and Megan Fox to do some twosome action with the guitar. Wow.

Facebook is just way too ridiculously addictive. Even little 'girlie' games like Pet Society can turn a usually macho guy like me to playing AND GETTING ADDICTED to this game.

So anyway, like most things in life, I want the shortcut to be the best. So enough bullshit, here are the best ways to cheat do well in pet society.

Cheat 1. Paw point cheat. Buy a lot of fruit (apples) and then go to a friend's house. Drop an apple to their feet and watch them eat. This should give you 17 points and 2 gold in return (it costs 5 to buy the apple). Before they finish the apple, drop another apple to their feet. And on and on and on. So technically, it would cost 3 gold for 17 paw points. Which is way worth it.

Cheat 2. Frisbee and ball cheat. To do well in the games, go to a small room and get as close as a wall as possible. When you play frisbee or ball, if you miss catching it, it will bounce off the wall and you get a second chance!

Cheat 3. Money cheat. You can visit each of your friend to earn 20 gold per time. After visiting all of them, log out and log back in again. Then visit them again. You should get money for visiting them again.

Yes, I have spent way too much time playing this game. But like you, I won't tell anyone else. If you have other cheats tips, do share… pretty please with sugar on top.

Came across this amazing article whereby a teacher was caught on camera doing a STRIPTEASE for her students. Check it out.

If I had a teacher like that, I would definitely have done better in biology than my piece of shit Grade C. Mrs Goh, if you're reading this, thanks for NOTHING!

Fancy a beer from a big mug? Yeah, it may sound stupid but I think it looks cool. Which is all that matters actually. Big mugs from waitresses with big jugs. No-lah. It's just the mugs which are fancy, and it's not Hooters. Believe it or not, this place is right smack here in KL.

So in this bar called Brussles (its in Jaya 1, near University Malaya), they have fancy big mugs which you can drink from. And take nice photos too. Especially if you're a camwhore. Just like her.

or me…

So I was driving around and actually came across this…

which when translated means 'Professional Masseuse for extra size'. Obviously, Mr or Miss Jo has some secret technique to share / perform which has been unknown to the rest of the male species except for Mr. Lexington Steel.

So I called. Not because I needed it *cough* but it sounded interesting.

Anyway, the conversation went something along the lines of this:

Me: Hello, ini Jo? Saya cari Jo. (Hi, is this Jo, I'm looking for Jo)

Jo: Ya, siapa ini? (Yes I am, who is this?)

Me: Saya tengok papan, mau lancio besar! (I saw the board and want a large dick)

Jo: Main main. You polis ka? (Is this a joke? You the cops?)

*line goes dead*

Another dissatisfied customer.

I have always wondered why its called a blowjob when it doesn't involve blowing. I wouldn't know if its hard to do or not, but it couldn't be so tough to the point it has to be called a job, can it?

I mean, the phrase blowjob is so misleading. Ever had to tap a girl on the top of her head and say 'That's not it dear. Blow is just a metaphor. Don't blow. Not cool.'

So my friend and I (after a couple of beers), decided to find out why its called a blow job, not suck job or something cooler sounding. Why not call it 'a mouth-full' or 'gag attack' or something.

Well, after all the reseach (thanks to Wikipedia), a blow job is a blow job because the guy blows his load. Oohhhh….. Now we get it. Who says you can't learn new things from this site?

Yeah. So i got a new laptop for work like a couple of weeks ago. Like a new NEW computer and then it decided to die on me. I hate and won't mention which laptop brand it is because i just don't want HP to attempt to sue me or some crap like that. Oops.

Anyway. The remains of my poor laptop.

And after that, its just never the same again. Hard drive failure, bluetooth failure, fail fail fail… And no its not because i store porn on it. Really.

I'm just going to call it a HP Craptop. Double oops.

How cool are board games? I'd think people who play them are geeks. Ok fine. A big sorry to the geeks people out there who play them. Whatever. I just feel that the games nowadays have to be catered for the 'emerging markets', these being:

1. Monopoly. Everyone has played it but I just think it has to be changed with the times. For example, the emerging gay community would just love if this game would be changed to Homopoly.

 I would have no idea how to play this game, probably names would be like Gayfair and Park-'in-my-rear'-lane. Or pick up a community chest card and it says 'Go to jail. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200. Only pick up the soap.'

2. Twister. Great party game. But more can be done for the more 'adult' and 'adventurous' people. I'd personally feel that a game called Twist-her would be so much more fun.

Imagine a way more fun game. Instead of right foot blue it would be like left ball mouth or right tit face. I sense people already changing their Twister game.